Divorce is distressing. Even if it was your choice, the upheaval to your life causes a load of stress. You could be left feeling all kinds of emotions, from angry, cynical, and bitter to sad, lonely, and depressed. But there’s no reason to wallow for long, and you can get your groove back again in no time with the right attitude.
Reclaim Your Turf
"Last night, I stopped by the bar with a few friends for a glass of wine. While we were laughing and having a good time, I spotted a woman sitting all by herself. She looked pretty sad and generally morose.
After a while, I couldn’t stand it, so I went over to say hi and ask her to hang out with us.
It turns out that this was the place where her marriage had ended just two months ago, and she was replaying the whole scenario in her head. No wonder she was so sad!"
One way to regain control of your life is to reclaim your turf. This woman had the right idea by returning to some of the stomping grounds frequented by her and her husband. But instead of wallowing, she needed a better strategy to reclaim that bar.
Go visit those places that have bad memories for you—and change your experience. Tell yourself that you are a happy, whole person, and this place has no power over you. Take some girlfriends with you and make new memories there. Purge that yuck from your mind!
You are no longer who you used to be. You are now a strong, independent woman with an amazing future ahead of you, and it’s time to let go of the labels you had previously associated with your identity.
Start to think of yourself in the roles you have now: daughter, mother, friend, coworker, etc. Draw a picture of yourself now, if it helps. Create an image, whether in your mind or tangible, of who you are and what makes you unique. Then go one step further and imagine how you affect the lives of those around you. You are important!
This might be the most fun component of getting your groove back. This is where you bring that vision to life and make a huge change—all for the better.
Perhaps you’ve thought about changing your hair or your wardrobe. This is the time! Go crazy and turn your hair blue, if you feel like it. Be the person who buys the first round, spends Thanksgiving in Tahiti, or takes flowers to the maternity ward. Do what feels right for you and look how you want the world to see this new you.
Often, losing weight is a goal following a divorce, mostly because it symbolizes shedding your skin and unveiling the new you. It’s a lot easier said than done, though, especially after a couple of kids and if you’re in your 40s or older.
Thankfully, Bodify has a solution for you: CoolSculpting. This non-invasive procedure freezes your excess fat cells in targeted areas of your body (we’re looking at you, tummy and thighs!). In just about 30 minutes in our comfortable Phoenix boutique, you’re all set. You just keep living life as normal, and in about 2–4 months, that fat will be flushed from your body.
You’re well on your way to getting your groove back, my beautiful friend. And if we can help, we’re here for you. Get started here.